


Chouji's way of remembering important (or maybe not as important) people, with unforeseen side effects

by inspiredstork



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Chouji Loves Food, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, How Do I Tag, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:21:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25098337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inspiredstork/pseuds/inspiredstork
Summary: Chouji matches people to food to remember their names(headcanon I couldn't get rid of, so I had to write it out, and it ended up getting posted because people wanted to see it)
Relationships: Akimichi Chouji & Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Chouji & Nara Shikamaru & Yamanaka Ino
Kudos: 19





	Chouji's way of remembering important (or maybe not as important) people, with unforeseen side effects

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work on ao3 ever, so bear with me because tagging is hard and I have no idea where I'm going with this. Anyway, hope you like this fic, that's Chouji-centric. Haven't actually seen any Chouji-based fics on here yet.
> 
> Constructive criticism is welcome, hate is not. Enjoy!

Chouji is terrible with names and faces. He can't help it, but he just can't remember the names to go with the face and so on. Often he has to ask for their names again, and the affronted glances that garners has him wallowing with his trusty bags of snacks in tow. 

One day he goes to Shikamaru about it. Shika's smart, and he's Chouji's best friend, and he's one of the only ones who didn't get offended when Chouji couldn't remember his name, the first time they met. 

"Troublesome," the Nara heir mutters, Chouji having distracted him from his cloud watching. "I don't know," he shrugs, turning back to the clouds. Chouji deflates. He'd been so sure that Shikamaru would have an answer. He resigns himself to forgetting everyone's names and no doubt making Ino mad at him later. But then Shikamaru speaks up again. 

"Maybe you could compare people to things that you know. Like, I dunno, pretending my old man's a piece on the Shogi board or something," Shikamaru suggests. Chouji turns to look at him. 

"You're a genius, Shikamaru," Chouji tells him, awed. Shikamaru just shrugs in response. Chouji starts thinking about it in earnest. He can't use Shogi to reference people, since he's sure that he'll forget. Shogi's such a hard game, he has no idea how Shika plays it so well. But if there's one thing he knows, it's food. He's an Akimichi after all, it's practically their bloodline limit. 

He starts with Shikamaru, his very best friend. He needs a worthy comparison, after all. He could be pineapple, but that's a bit obvious, and that's only his hair... He could be BBQ chips, after all that's one of Chouji's favourites, but he's supposed to be trying to remember names and faces too. He stares at Shikamaru, trying to figure out what to compare him to. 

"Chouji, why are you staring at me?" Shikamaru grumbles, eyes still on the clouds. Chouji doesn't answer, automatically putting a chip in his mouth to chew on while he thinks. 

He has a sudden stroke of genius. "Beef jerky!" he exclaims suddenly. 

"What?" Shikamaru asks, befuddled. Chouji just waves him off, his mind whirring like crazy and new ideas springing forth. It's a perfect name for Shika. His ponytail might look like a pineapple with it being all spiky, but it can also be beef jerky with a chunk torn off. Shikamaru's eyes sometimes remind Chouji of charcoal, which is part of the process as to how the good kind of beef jerky is made. Plus his personality kind of fits, Shika has a sort of dry humour, and he's tough too, but softens up when you get to know him, just like how beef jerky starts out tough before you chew it up. 

Happy with his very first nickname, Chouji sets to creating others for his classmates at the academy and the people he knows. Shika's dad becomes venison, for obvious reasons. Ino becomes pineapple, Inoichi as banana, Sakura as strawberry pudding, the list goes on. 

The techniques works out really well. Chouji starts to be able to remember people outside of his immediate circle, even people he's only met once or twice. There are still setbacks and mishaps (like that time he called Ino pineapple girl to her face, she had not been happy) but overall, it really works, and Chouji's content. 

When he graduates, he ends up on a team with Shika and Ino, with their jounin sensei, Asuma-sensei. Chouji decides that his sensei will be smoked pork. Asuma-sensei, in turn, has friends and people that he hangs out with, and Chouji comes up with lots of references to fit everyone. 

And then it becomes clear that Chouji's tactic of comparing people might be helping out in more ways than he's first suspected. They work with Team 8 on a joint training exercise one day. Kurenai-sensei, a genjutsu expert, helps them with breaking out of genjutsus by putting them under one and coaching them on how to dispel it. Somehow, the genjutsus of Shika, Ino, and anyone else he's ever made a food comparison with just look and act wrong, and they disgrace the foods that they've been compared with, which makes Chouji realize that they're not real. 

But, if it's someone he's never made a comparison with because they haven't met, Chouji doesn't really have a counter for that. Needless to say, Kurenai-sensei is a little confused when training's over, since one moment Chouji's breaking out in a flash, and the next he's stuck in a genjutsu for 10 minutes straight. 

Ino pesters him all the way home, constantly asking how he did that. Chouji doesn't really know himself. "It just felt wrong sometimes," he ends up answering. Ino's not satisfied with that answer, but Chouji really doesn't know how to give her a satisfactory answer to her question. 

He meets Hatake Kakashi, Team 7's jounin sensei, and by extension, Yamato Tenzou-san as well. Kakashi-sensei seems to fit licorice well enough, while Yamato-san, or Tenzou-san, as he insists on being called by his first name, is more like caramel. 

It's not until a month later, in the Sandaime's office, that he sees Tenzou-san lurking in the back. Well, it's not Tenzou-san exactly, it's the ANBU, Cat, but Chouji can't stop himself before he blurts out, "Hi Tenzou-san!" He claps his hands over his mouth immediately after. 

If Tenzou-san wasn't still before, he probably would have frozen after that. As one, everyone turns to Chouji. Ino is stunned, Shikamaru questioning, the Sandaime unreadable. Asuma fumbles with his cigarette, nearly dropping it. 

"And how, pray tell, do you know Cat's identity?" Hokage-sama finally asks tiredly. 

"His hair," Chouji says, but it ends up sounding like a question. "I promise he didn't tell me or anything, I've just met him before and he looks the same, except he has a mask on his face," Chouji backtracks in a hurry, sweating. Hokage-sama looks him over shrewdly, and finally nods. Chouji sags in relief. 

"That's quite a talent," Hokage-sama finally smiles, but it doesn't sound exactly like a compliment. Chouji's not quite sure how to react, but then they get down to business and Chouji is spared. 

Asuma stares down at his drink. He's with the other jounin senseis, and they're having their weekly sessions of drinking and gossiping about their students. "You look miserable today, Asuma. Is it Ino again?" Kurenai asks kindly. 

"No, it's Chouji this time," Asuma answers. Kakashi raises an eyebrow. 

"What has your student done to make you sounds so unyouthful, Asuma?" Gai wonders. 

"He called an ANBU by their real name in Dad's office. An ANBU! They're supposed to be anonymous but somehow, he just figured it out on the spot!" Asuma explained. "Dad questioned me after that, like I was the one who taught him. I have no idea where he learned it from." 

Kakashi looked bored, but his intrigue was showing. "Mah, mah, shouldn't you be proud of your cute little student for figuring something like that out? After all, ANBU are known for their anonymity." Asuma could only groan in response, downing his drink in one gulp and flagging down the bartender for another one. "Who was it, anyway?" 

"Yamato Tenzou," Asuma answers. Kakashi doesn't say anything, but Asuma gets the feeling that Kakashi's going to go tease Tenzou for the rest of his life about it. 

"Maybe you should train him to withhold that kind of information," Kurenai suggests. 

"Yeah, I probably should." Asuma lets out a long-suffering sigh, motioning for Kakashi to start talking about his students so that he can stop thinking about his own problems. 

(Chouji sneezes in his sleep.)

"Chouji." Chouji looks up to see Shikamaru plonking himself down on the grass next to him. Shikamaru doesn't go straight to cloud watching or napping or whatever he wants to do. Instead, his eyes are steady on Chouji, making him feel a bit nervous, like Shikamaru's dissecting him under his gaze. 

"Yes?" he answers in response. 

"How did you know that ANBU was Tenzou-san? I didn't know until you said so." Shikamaru is still staring at him. Chouji debates on how to tell him, and if he even should. He's been keeping it under wraps, because it's kind of embarrassing when he thinks about it, comparing people to things he likes to eat. But then again, this is Shikamaru, his best friend, and the person who came up with the idea in the first place. 

"Remember when I asked you for advice on how I could remember names and faces?" Shikamaru thinks for a minute. 

"...Yes," he answers after a bit of thinking. "Back when we were in the academy."

"So, I took your advice, and started comparing people to food!" Chouji says, getting excited. "So every time I meet someone new, I compare them to a food that they could match up to, and each person's different. So whenever I see them, I remember the food, and then their name and face."

He waits for Shikamaru to think about it. "That doesn't explain why you knew," Shikamaru finally points out. 

"Well, I saw his hair, and sort of just figured it out from there," Chouji admits sheepishly, putting a chip in his mouth and crunching on it. 

"What kind of food am I?" Shikamaru asks after a pause. 

"Beef jerky," Chouji answers promptly. Shikamaru sputters. 

"What? Why?" 

"You just reminded me of it," Chouji shrugs. 

Shikamaru rolls his eyes. "Whatever. I'm taking a nap," he yawns, lying back on the grass and closing his eyes. Chouji just smiles, crunching on his chips beside him.


End file.
